BONK!
If you haven’t seen this movie
yet, your life is not complete. You cannot die. Well, plenty of
people have died without seeing this movie, but let’s
say that isn’t really living. EATING
RAOUL is the
most uplifting, inspiring
story of
murderers/stalkers/cannibals
ever told. If you’ve ever
been passed over for a promotion, ignored by someone who you were
working extra hard for, or thought “why them and not me?” then
this is a film you will love.
Sex, drugs and
full-frontal nudity run
rampant and the good guys prevail thanks to the party.
This film
is the introduction of Paul and Mary Bland, characters reprised in
numerous movies over the following decade, but I’ll leave those to
you to identify in the comments below. The Blands are an uptight and
old fashioned couple living in the swinging 80’s
in L.A. Everyone they see is
sexually perverse and every
bit revolting to the straight-laced couple. But like anyone in
Hollywood they dream big, they wish to one day open their own
restaurant in the suburbs. Ahh, the trees, living above the store: real small town life Gilmore Girls style.
Sounds great except the Blands don’t
have any money. They can’t pay the bills and their jobs suck, they
work their asses off all day while the swingers get high and screw
and have money falling out of whichever orifice they prefer that evening. It
isn’t until Mary is attacked by a swinger and Paul hits him over
the head with a frying pan that they see just how they can get the
money for their dream – at the expense of “horrible, sex-crazed
maniacs no one in the world would miss...” With
help from their friend Doris the Dominatrix the Blands learn their
way around the world of kink, and
Raoul swoops in to add the final piece of the puzzle; what does a
nice young couple do with their
victim’s body
after they have looted it?
Raoul has some friends that
are in the market for just such an item...
So look, if you dream of something
you don’t have yet, this movie will resonate with you. Maybe
you’ll be upset they thought of the idea first, but no one carries
cash anymore anyway so the idea needs some tweaking, maybe Apple Pay.
The Blands are painfully
proper but anyone can relate to their situation as they work towards
their dream. The
more angry and upset they get, the harder things seem to get. But
their opportunity comes, like it will for all of us! They get to
profit from the scum of
the earth they have such disdain for, and they loosen up a bit in the
process. You would never guess you’d
see these two stiffs at a rich swingers party in the Hollywood Hills,
but you will (WARNING: NUDITY!).
One
thing I really enjoy about this movie other than the vengeful story line is the set design. The Blands’
apartment is decked out 50’s style, with mother’s furniture,
retro mirrors
and pillars
of cacti.
Their double beds give them
the space they both seek, but
best is the stuffed wine bottle that Paul sleeps with. Paul
Giamatti’s character in SIDEWAYS probably has the same one and
clutches it with the same love and
adoration. The
x-rays in the background while Mary and Raoul have their fling are
easy to miss at first, and even harder to see at the swinger’s
party over the fireplace in
their fancy artwork form,
but they are there. The
artwork in the Bland apartment as they become more comfortable with
their sexuality, and a little more greedy, changes also, along with
the flourishes they use for each client they go out of their way to
please before bopping over the head and disposing of the body via
Raoul and his friends at the Doggy King dog food factory.
EATING RAOUL is
one of my favorite movies of all time. The story is a feel-good,
heartwarming tale of success, overcoming the obstacles of life to
achieve your biggest goals, and doing it as a team, a husband and
wife together. Aww, how cute. But in this day and age you can’t
do anything by being nice. You have to be calculating, purposeful,
and a little greedy. The
Blands learn that the sexually liberated people they hate the most
are actually the people who will make their goals possible, and if
they use their brains their dreams will come true.
Hey, if I could be rich and sit by my pool and order drinks delivered
to me all day, and all I had to do was hit a bunch of my worst
enemies in the head with a frying pan, I would call it a pretty fair
trade, wouldn’t you?
P.S. - Why is it called EATING RAOUL? You’ll never know if you
don’t watch the film all the way to the end!
Check out this and other black comedies on our YouTube Channel: youtube.com/outtheremovies